“LIFE HAS LEFT TURNS, YOU JUST WANT TO BE RIGHT”
If there is anything I’ve learned, is that I have much to learn.
Life has taught me, that I need to keep teaching,
but to be a good teacher, you have to love learning.
The best Life lessons, are Life experiences . . . and not all experiences are the best.
I can’t tell you why things happen, but I can say they’re apart of our story . . . If we choose to continue writing our novels.
One of my favorite books, is in the wisdom literature of the Book of Books. The Book of Job, tells a heartbreaking story about a good man, who is stripped of everything in life, without reason nor understanding. Job wants a clear explanation about why is life is falling apart, and even has a chance to pour his heart out to God. With all confusion, heartache and pain, Job still doesn’t get what he desires, and feels that God’s way of managing and judging the world is unjust.
In Ecclesiastes, ironically right after the book of Proverbs, (Proverbs, basically a book about rules, good character and how the world works) the opening statement (in Ecclesiastes) goes, “Meaningless! Meaningless, Utterly Meaningless, Everything is Meaningless” – Ecclesiastes 1 -2; The writer goes on to say that – All that occurs under the sun is “Vapor”.
Nothing really does make sense, or at least nothing reaches the expectations of our own minds and the desires of our hearts. So many good people die young, and so many young grow up to do evil things, for long periods of time . . . Job even questions “Why do the wicked live on growing old and increasing in power? I have to admit I have many questions, and I have to agree with Job… even when he pleads with God, “Your hands shaped me and made me, will you now turn and destroy me?” – Job 10:8
Questions, questions, questions…
I think we have all struggled with at some point in our lives, Why God . . . Why?
A respected Pastor and Voicing mentor in my life once said to a woman experiencing similar pain to Job, “I don’t know, and anyone who can give you a clear cut answer, shouldn’t be trusted”.
I remember my first prayer to God, was similar to Job’s, it was a lot more like a rant, an argument and me screaming with anger at God.
However, God’s response… (Chapters 38 & 39)
Job 38 begins with “Then the Lord Spoke to Job out of the Storm”
Life often feels that way (especially in South Florida) just rain, drenched, walking against winds you can’t control, being pummeled to the ground, feeling helpless with no defense . . .
However, Gods response, is strong, humbling and yet loving all at once. The Divine speaks in chapter 38 beginning with, “Where were you when I laid the earths foundation? Tell me if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions, surely you know! (V8) Who shut up the sea behind doors, when it burst forth from the womb, when I made the clouds its garment and wrapped it in the thick of darkness, when I fixed limits and set its doors and bars in place, when I said “This far you may come and no farther . . . & in verse 12, “Have you ever given orders to the morning, or shown the dawn its place?”, and all throughout these 2 chapters, the Lord speaks and we begin to realize we know very little, and even our own experiences are only particles of a much bigger creation.
You know. . . I don’t know
I don’t have answers, and in my Life, if there is one thing I have learned is “it’s ok… to not know” b/c I believe – that… is the true beginning of Faith itself.
Found in the unseen, the unknown, and unbelievable, and the only other honest thing I can share is that your personal story, is a novel that people desperately need to read. It’s hard to relate to someone, when you’ve never experienced their pain before; it’s hard to know what Broken Feels like, if all the pieces are neatly organized in your life. How can we ever learn to love someone who feels unloved, if we’ve never experienced the darkest hours of our own minds when we felt, lost, broken, alone and unloved.
Personally I’ve learned during grieving times in my life, honestly I don’t want someone to give me advice, a pep talk or tips on how to improve . . . deep down all I wanted was for someone to sit there with me in my pain. And the only thing that really gave me hope, was to see people with similar stories, who made it through. Experiencing humans, with unbelievable testimonies, that inspired me, to keep going. & What helped even more, was walking side by side those individuals and being a part of their story too, to where one day I can share a story about all our collective and connected lives into one bigger story. To stand before someone and tell them I’m here b/c of the people that stood behind me.
My Spiritual experience came from the love and grace from those that learned Love and Grace themselves. Because they chose to follow a path of grace rather than revenge, they walked the steps of unknown blind faith, rather than the character of rebellion, they walked with me, and reminded me what Love was, what unconditional Love was.
A couple months back, I saw a Kid running around in a cafe, accidentally he fell, and when he looked up he was smiling, and then moments later, he looked around, and realized no one was there to help him up, and he didn’t recognize anyone nearby, it wasn’t until then his face changed . . . and then he cried. I realized in that moment, that in life sometimes its not the fall that we’re scared of, its falling, looking up and realizing we’re all alone . . . now that’s something to be scared about.
If there is anything that I’ve learned in my faithful walk, is that “Life Has Left Turns, We Just Want To Always Be Right” . . . but Faith begins with not knowing, letting go of control and trusting, and its always easier to let go when someone is there to help us loosen our grip, when we can all journey together, even if we’re all lost. Because maybe in our journey, we can meet some strangers and share with them our story, in hopes to inspire them to join us in our wandering adventure, to go find more strangers to tell them an unbelievable story about all our collective stories and how through the storm we all learned unconditional Love…TOGETHER